Crying in a Foreign Language
The Deities that Answered My Plea
On the first day of August, 1988, I awake in a Tōkyō hotel room, early, thanks to jet lag.
Many reasons brought me to Japan, but as ready as I am to be here, talking about the reasons is something I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to do.
And yet, as the months unfurl, as one year in Japan becomes two, three, and then many more years, I start to unfurl too. I wasn’t expecting Japan to break down all the closets I had chosen to isolate me from not only my sexuality but my grief, my fears, and even my joy. I wasn’t expecting Japan to teach me how to love.
Updates
21 April 2024
I’m planning to launch another round of querying early in May when my essay for The Audacity’s Emerging Writer Series. The last query I sent out was on October 6, 2023. What has changed since then?
The memoir itself has been completely restructured and re-imagined. In seeing my progress, one of my mentors said, “I am BLOWN AWAY.”
This is where the memoir stood last November. The timeline covered twenty years in a direct chronology.
This is where things are now (and I’m doing one final listening pass for a last polish). The timeline has shrunk to the ten years I was in Japan. However, there are now flashback chapters and citations from medical, historical, cultural, and literature references, creating a far richer tapestry for the reader.
I also worked with six other outstanding writers in a memoir proposal workshop led by Greg Mania and revised my proposal. Take a look at the new overview here. I’m proud of this work.
News
21 March 2024
I received a green light from the editors of The Audacity, to share the following: Roxane Gay has selected my essay, Desire, Desiring, Desired, about the ways I came to understand both the physical and emotional aspects of my sexuality, for inclusion in her Emerging Writers series. It sounds like the essay will go live in May after a round of edits in April. I am ecstatic.
Publication
17 March 2024
A section called Privacy, from an earlier revision of my memoir, has gone live in Invisible City, a publication of the University of San Francisco’s MFA program. Please find it here.
Acceptance
21 February 2024
It kills me not to share any of the specifics, but an essay I wrote about the ways in which my understandings of both physical and emotional evolved during my twenties was accepted by a major online promoter of new writers. I’ve signed the contract, but until there’s an official release date, I am going to zip my lip. With all the good news since the start of the year, I can’t wait to start querying again in April.
Finalist
16 February 2024
Rejections are par for the course when writing, but a rejection that also makes it clear that I had become a finalist in a genre that had at least 700 applicants? Wow.
Acceptance
6 February 2024
In December, I submitted a fifteen-page chunk from the then-current version of my memoir to a literary magazine. The magazine accepted it and sent a few line edits for me to review. I’ll be sharing the link when it goes live later this year.
Contest Longlist Winner
9 January 2024
I submitted an essay about a trip Hiro and I took to Phuket back in 1995 to a contest run by Queer Adventurers. That essay was one of five longlisted entries, and although it did not win, it will appear on the website later this year. Updates soon!
New Author Photo?
11 December 2023
During a holiday party this past weekend, my good friend Bienvenido posed me for this incredible photograph. I love it and am looking forward to its book jacket moment.
Revising Again
10 October 2023
Within hours today, two people offered identical feedback on my manuscript: start it in Japan.
And I am now reviewing the themes throughout the manuscript so that when I reorganize the chronology, I can better add the right flashbacks and context. I used to think I was writing a hybrid memoir, but now I see it as more of a collage or a patchwork, inviting the reader to follow along on the myriad ways my brain connects from one narrative to the next memory, from one incident to the historical context for it.
Book Review
10 September 2023
My review of The Male Gazed, by Manuel Betancourt, appeared in the September online edition of Hippocampus Magazine.
My First Listicle Essay
14 June 2023
Many, many thanks to Brevity Blog for sharing my numerical thoughts about my first ever Association of Writers and Writing Programs conference earlier this year.
Book Review
6 June 2023
My review of Without Saints, by Christopher Locke, appeared in the June online edition of Hippocampus Magazine.
Querying Again
25 May 2023
After an intense round of revisions prompted my excellent beta reader feedback, I have compiled the next round of twenty agents to query, armed with letters, proposals, writing samples, synopses, and more. Fingers crossed!
Finalist!
18 May 2023
I received word from Columbia Journal that an essay I submitted in January of 2023 was named a finalist for the Online Prize for Nonfiction. Although I did not ultimately win, the nomination was indeed an honor.
Book Review
1 April 2023
My review of the incredible Brother Alive, by Zain Khalid ran in the Rain Taxi spring print edition. You can order a copy here.
Beta Readers
21 February 2023
Six people received copies of the latest revisions to Crying in a Foreign Language: The Deity that Answered My Plea. One of my readers, a member of the manuscript’s dramatis personae, has now read through four revisions. Of this latest version, he shared the following with me.
…Your ability to use turns of phrase so adroitly keeps the reader glued to the pages. I binge read it…yet again. An agent and publisher would be remiss not to grab this up….Outstanding work, my friend. So raw with emotion and honest. I loved it, as I have most of your other rewrites, but this one really is good. You are an inspiration, truly.
Todd Jay Leonard on 25 February 2023
Finalist!
15 February 2023
I received word from CutBank that an essay I submitted late in 2022 was named a finalist for the Montana Prize for Nonfiction. Although I did not ultimately win, the nomination was indeed an honor.
Publication
2 February 2023
The fourth issue of the Messy Misfits zine included a brief excerpt from my memoir-in-progress. The issue is free to download here.
Book Review
15 December 2022
My review of Halfway From Home, by Sarah Fawn Montgomery, appeared in the December online edition of Hippocampus Magazine.
Award for Non-Fiction
15 November 2022
In September, I wrote an essay about the first day of a trip Hiro and I made to the East Coast of the United States. I submitted Bending Time to a literary journal called White Enso that focuses on connections with Japan. To my delight, that essay won their award for non-fiction for their November 2022 issue.
AWP W2W Mentorship Program
10 September 2022
I was stunned to receive word that not only had I been selected for Season 17 of the incredible Association of Writers & Writing Programs’ Writer to Writer mentorship program, but that my mentor, Garrard Conley, author of the intensely eye-opening Boy Erased, personally selected me based on my application materials.
Book Review
10 August 2022
My review of Another Appalachia: Coming up Queer and Indian in a Mountain Place by Neema Avashia appeared in the August online edition of Hippocampus Magazine.
15 June 2022
Research Article
A topic in which I am personally invested is marriage equality, and I had the opportunity to compare and contrast the marriage equality arcs within the United States and Japan in an article for the JETs on Japan Forum, a publication of the Sasakawa Peace Foundation in association with the United States Japan Exchange & Teaching Programme Alumni Association.
That article grew out of personal research which also resulted in the marriage equality timeline I shared to my blog.
Craft Essay
9 June 2022
One of my favorite writing teachers, Allison K. Williams, included a mention of one of my blog posts on hybrid memoir in her essay on that very topic.
Podcast Appearance
9 June 2022
My interview with Second Adolescence spoke to the ways in which my closet and grief resulted in a different teenage experience, and to how it wasn’t until I arrived in Japan that I was able to undergo a true adolescence, one that united me with authentic intimacy. Have a listen, please.
Podcast Appearance
5 June 2022
Listen in! or listen out! Sam and I talked about marriage equality, my experiences in Japan and much more. He was an excellent interviewer and came well prepared with in-depth questions.
Book Review
13 May 2022
My review of Body Work: the Radical Power of Personal Narrative by Melissa Febos appeared in Brevity’s blog.
Book Review
7 March 2022
My review of Affliction: Growing Up with a Closeted Gay Dad by Laura Hall appeared in the March online edition of Hippocampus Magazine.
Craft Essay
7 March 2022
There are few things I dreaded as the injunctive to print out and re-type my memoir’s manuscript. This essay describes the choices I made.
Craft Essay
29 December 2021
Dinty Moore, the editor of Brevity Magazine, selected my essay on meditation for the magazine’s last blog entry of 2021.
Book Review
6 December 2021
My review of Special Topics in Being Human: a Queer and Tender Guide to Things I’ve Learned the Hard Way about Caring for People, Including Myself by S. Bear Bergman appeared in the December online edition of Hippocampus Magazine.
Craft Essay
15 November 2021
The New York office of an organization I once worked for in Tōkyō called CLAIR (Council of Local Authorities for International Relations) ran an essay I wrote about how Japan changed my life. Scroll down on the page I linked to to see it.
Craft Essay
7 October 2021
My essay on the choice between fiction and memoir appeared in Brevity magazine’s online blog.
Craft Essay
15 July 2021
My first essay on writing encapsulated the frustrations I felt during the first year of revisions to my manuscript.